Sachita has spent the last half hour trying to console her daughter who has come home desolate because she has not done as well in her board exams as she had expected. At 17, her daughter is smart and sociable but there are days when she seems to have no feeling of self-worth. How can Sachita boost her daughter’s self-esteem?

Career defining examinations are traumatising the youngsters in this country. There is an unhealthy tendency to carelessly classify a smart young person as an underachiever on the basis of marks that nobody would remember a few years down the line.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the way a person thinks about herself and more significantly, what she expects of herself. The foundation for positive self-esteem is built at an early age and is influenced by the relationships between the teenager and her family, friendships at school and attitudes of teachers. Praise, support and finding something she is good at can help her develop confidence in herself. Unrelenting criticism, teasing and failures can make her feel worthless.  

Confidence, or lack of it, may affect decisions made during adolescence. Peer pressure and outside influences can guide a teenager and shape her decisions. The strength of her self-esteem will help your teenager make the right decisions about many things in life, ranging from her picking the right friends to making the right career choice.

From a very young age, we tend to form a mental picture of who we are, based on the way others perceive us, and also the way life has treated us.  The term self-image is used to refer to a person's mental picture of herself. This mental picture contributes to her self-esteem.

Self-esteem, is the sum total of how much we feel valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by others. A large part of our self-esteem hinges on our perception of ourselves and how much we consider our own worth. A strong self-esteem helps a teenager feel good about herself, allowing her to realize her own value and take pride in her abilities, skills, and accomplishments. Youngsters with low self-esteem may hurt constantly because they feel they are unworthy of attracting healthy attention and praise and incapable of achievement.